we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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