dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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