My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize