accomplished twins. life is a go
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
