I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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