Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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