I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
