I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
