And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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