best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize