Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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