No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
