Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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