Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
