it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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