He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
