that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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