So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
