since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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