the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Randomize
