It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
