I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
