He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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