I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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