Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
