You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize