At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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