No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
