I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
