New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
