problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
