SEEEEXXX PLEASE
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
