I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
