i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
