READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
