walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
