i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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