dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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