dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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