I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
