went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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