Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
