Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
