Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
