I smell stomach acid.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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