White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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