nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
