I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
