I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
