i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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