if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
