So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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