I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
