it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
